The First Holidays After the Loss of a Loved One by Wendy Faust

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My son left our family on 7/7/15. He died by suicide.

Our hearts have never been the same. After months of shock and denial, we entered the holiday season. It used to be my favorite time of year. We have two more sons so we put up decorations for them to be as normal as possible. Holidays were horrible. I cried a lot and didn’t know to get through the devastating time.

We were surrounded by love but we just wanted to hide and wish the holidays away. I find, as we are drawing close with the starting of fall, that I still don’t want to participate in the festivities- so we are going to leave town and start new traditions to get through.
I miss my son so very much and Christmas was his favorite time. He loved the house decorated. I have good memories of those times and will forever hold them in my heart.

So I guess the lesson is to do whatever you can to get through¬†the year of first holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Do what you can to survive this.¬†Be selfish. Do what you need to do to get through this. It won’t be easy but you will survive. And that’s all we want to do at this point!

Love to all,
Mother of an angel

5 Responses

  1. Debra derisi
    | Reply

    Thank you it is coming close for me we lost our daughter Sammy in 120915 I feel the same but I can’t put decorate up wish you peace

  2. Dianna Matzo
    | Reply

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I agree with you that when you are recovering from such a terrible loss, you have to give yourself permission to be selfish. You have to make decisions that will get you and your family through the hardest times. Blessings to you.

  3. Kathy Meyer
    | Reply

    I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my son to suicide 11/17/15. He was 36 and left behind 2 children. There are no words that express the loss well enough. Five days after his funeral it was Thanksgiving, my birthday, then weeks later Christmas. I don’t know how I got through other than to say all I did what others thought I should do.
    I don’t believe there is a right way or wrong way to deal with loss. I too have left home to help get through special days. We just have to do what works for us and not worry how others perceive it.
    I rely heavily on my faith in God and know it is only by His strength that I survive.
    I don’t know that it gets easier. Each day can be a battle and we just have to push forward and learn new ways to find our joy again. Life will never be the same.
    I pray God’s peace and comfort surround you and your family.

  4. Harry Wyeth
    | Reply

    Winter holidays are often a depressing time for many of us, and especially for those suffering such a tragic loss. I suggest envisioning a kind of a clock whose hands reach a bottom at number 6 at Christmas or New Years and then start to climb upward toward warmer weather, sunshine, springtime, more light, and happier times to come. This gives you something to look forward to.

  5. Shannon Wright
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    Thankyou for sharing. I lost my mom to Cancer when I was 12 right before Christmas and then my brother to suicide in 2007. Christmas is not my favorite. But I try to focus on the loved ones that are here and on Jesus’ birth as new beginnings. Things will never be the same, but my “new normal” has more joy than it used to and I wish the same for you!!!

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