I lost my mum to suicide September 23rd, 2013. In reflection, I was already very depressed and having suicidal thoughts myself. Trying to juggle a manager’s position, 3 kids, a home and trying to look after my mum was breaking me. My mum’s suicide nearly tipped me over the edge. I was so angry that I could have ripped the clouds from the sky. The anger, rejection, and abandonment killed me. I fought with my husband. I was so consumed with anger and grief and I couldn’t concentrate on anything.
My breaking point was getting drunk and getting arrested. My arms were nearly broken and I spent a night in the cells. My anxiety was through the roof and I made a decision then that I could not do this to myself or my family anymore.
My mum was dead but I had to be strong. I took the medication and I went into therapy. I’m not going to say that it’s easy but I’m going to say that I deserve to live and I deserve to be happy. I want to fight for me and my kids and not put them through the same. Some days are good and some are bad but that’s ok and Its ok to just be ok. I can be content with that.