My son was my best friend, we could talk about anything. At times I would be angry because he would call me in the middle of the night just to talk or say, “I love you, mom.” Now, I would give anything for a call just to talk or just to say, “I love you, mom.”
It has been almost three years since I lost my son to suicide. Yes, time does help, but the emptiness I feel in my heart feels like it will never heal. I know he was in so much pain and I know I’m selfish to want him back no matter what he was going through, but I miss him so much.
He was so young to have such a strong need for alcohol to help him cope with the pain he was living with. My need to have answers to questions that I know I will never have is hard to accept. No one could ever understand the pain a parent lives with due to the loss of a child by suicide. Some of the stories on this site have really helped me to understand, that his decision to leave this world the way he did, doesn’t have anything to do with the lack of love we had for each other.
I love and miss you so much, Son.