I Lost My Best Friend by Rebekah Byrd

posted in: Uncategorized | 7

My son was my best friend, we could talk about anything. At times I would be angry because he would call me in the middle of the night just to talk or say, “I love you, mom.”  Now, I would give anything for a call just to talk or just to say, “I love you, mom.”

It has been almost three years since I lost my son to suicide. Yes, time does help, but the emptiness I feel in my heart feels like it will never heal. I know he was in so much pain and I know I’m selfish to want him back no matter what he was going through, but I miss him so much. 

He was so young to have such a strong need for alcohol to help him cope with the pain he was living with. My need to have answers to questions that I know I will never have is hard to accept.  No one could ever understand the pain a parent lives with due to the loss of a child by suicide.  Some of the stories on this site have really helped me to understand, that his decision to leave this world the way he did, doesn’t have anything to do with the lack of love we had for each other.

I love and miss you so much, Son.

7 Responses

  1. John Filiczkowski
    | Reply

    A great loss will not prevent you for living in those moments where you had that great love mourning when you had him remembering you will be together forever some day.

  2. Sabina
    | Reply

    So sorry for your loss Rebekah. No one except someone going through this can imagine the pain and emptiness it feels to lose a child. I lost my daughter not long ago – my best friend – and like you I could do anything to get a call even in the middle of the night just to hear her voice again. Stay strong and together let’s just cherish the joy they brought into our lives.

  3. Stella
    | Reply

    So sorry for your loss, Rebekah. My beloved son took his life 9 months ago. The anguish and heartbreak we feel in overwhelming. Thank you for putting into words what I feel every day.

  4. Julie Harris
    | Reply

    No greater loss. My heart aches for you. There’s just no words sometimes. Thanks for sharing and just know myself and the others on this site hold you in our hearts.

  5. Rebekah
    | Reply

    Thank you everyone for your kind words.

  6. Wendy Faust
    | Reply

    I know your pain and am so sorry for your loss ! I miss my son also he was 22 died 2 years ago by suicide , only the moms who have lost children to suicide or any child loss is a very very hard way to live on this earth , just taking a deep breath is hard work after the loss! So exhausting and mentally emotional . They had no intention of hurting us but their complex brain of turmoil of pain that they felt was more than they could deal with – I have been through the would of should of could of but pray every night that they have no pain in heaven and are so happy !
    Love to all parents who have lost a child may you all find some peace on the days ahead !❤️

  7. Wendy Faust
    | Reply

    I know your pain also
    Praying for the loss of your son ! Mine passed 2 years ago by suicide
    Very hard journey ! But we are survivors ! Prayers to you and your family !

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