A New Year by Brook Sanders

posted in: Uncategorized | 6

A new year is upon us, friends. What better time is there to start fresh and put your bad behind you? I urge everyone to leave the bad feelings, guilt, despair, etc. behind you. This is the year to stop trying to please everyone, quit fearing change and living in the past. Stop overthinking things. Trust me when I say how ridiculous I know that sounds. I know how much easier that is said than done. I know it seems impossible. 

I’ve been in your shoes. I am in those shoes off and on. As suicide loss survivors, we know the guilt creeps in at the most unexpected times. In my case, I will be fine for days, weeks, sometimes months and then, out of nowhere, for no reason whatsoever, there comes the cloud of darkness creeping in. During these times, please believe me when I say I understand how impossible this sounds. 
I urge you to rely on positive thinking. Positive thinking doesn’t mean you ignore life’s problems. On the contrary, you face them head on and believe the best will happen. I urge you to practice positive self talk. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t tell your best friend. Tell yourself first thing every morning your mantra. Say this to yourself repeatedly throughout the day. Especially when you least believe it. Your mantra is whatever you need it to be. Mine is “Everything is fine. You are fine. You will get through this situation. People lose their partner every day and come out okay and you are no different.” I urge you to write your mantra today and put it somewhere easily accessible. Look at it every time you feel down or like life is kicking you. 
Start small. Don’t expect an overnight change because change takes time! I know you can do this! 

6 Responses

  1. Lynne
    | Reply

    Love this! Part of staying positive for me is stating to myself and knowing that tomorrow is a new day and I will always feel better tomorrow if I can’t seem to shake it today. Works like a charm. 🙂 Happy New Year to all.

  2. Mom
    | Reply

    Beautifully written, love you more than life!

  3. Karen
    | Reply

    Brooke, thank you so much for your encouragement. We love you.

  4. Debbie
    | Reply

    How appropriate for me to today! The grief and guilt have been kicking in. I will keep thinking for this. Thank you!

  5. Brook Sanders
    | Reply

    Happy new year Lynne ❤️

  6. Kelley
    | Reply

    My sister died by suicide just over a year ago. Last year this time I was not only in complete shock I was crippled with horror, despair and fear of any future without my sister. My thoughts about this New Year have mostly been reflections on surviving the most horrific year and tragedy of my life. Every minute, hour and day required a conscious effort just to be here. I can say though, today is better than any day of last year and that brings me hope. Thank you for your article.

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