30 years ago you left us, you left me. I don’t remember the sound of your voice, I don’t know what your eyes looked like or how tall you were, I don’t know what your favourite song was or which football team you supported. So many moments, opportunities and memories were stolen from me.
And I’ve been lucky, I have the most amazing woman in the world who has been mum and dad and so much more to me every day of my life. And then a wonderful man stepped up and took me on, even though I was grown up, even though I was flawed, even though I didn’t know how to have a dad. He helps to fill a space in my heart that was empty for so long and shows me in all his own ways how a dad cares for a daughter. But that empty space in my heart remains and the years without you keep increasing. So even though I know I’m lucky to be as loved as I am, sometimes I’m also just a little sad.
You weren’t perfect, you’d made mistakes, but you were mine. The saddest thing in the world is to have no memories of your dad because he chose to die.