I was saddened to hear about the recent suicide of Chester Bennington, lead singer of the rock band Linkin Park. He left behind a wife and six children who are, no doubt, reeling in the devastating loss of their husband and daddy. He had so many fans and people that loved him and his music. He had fame and riches. … Read More
I was honored recently to be interviewed for the Mom Struggling Well podcast. During the interview, we discussed my mom’s suicide, what it was like to grow up without my mom, the unique grief a suicide brings, how suicide impacts my parenting today, and how this website, The Gift of Second, came to be created. The interview is fun and … Read More
On TV tonight I was watching a show where a woman was told that her husband had died. It was ten years ago that my husband took his life, but tonight, I was right there again – feeling the shock, the loss, the anguish. I sobbed as I felt us both absorb the words. Sigh. It happens. I won’t lie-I imagine it … Read More
For the longest time, I hated the realization that time goes on. I felt time stopped when my boyfriend died by suicide, and in a lot of ways, it did. In so many other ways, it’s marched on, whether I wanted it to or not. So much is different now. Time is always viewed as the enemy, but time is … Read More
The following was written for the Survivors of Suicide Loss newsletter (page 3). Today, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned through the devastation of suicide. I love others in their greatest time of pain because I remember what it was like when others moved on and forgot my daily grief. I make a big deal out of my … Read More
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I’m on a mission to challenge biases — conscious and unconscious. It was the spring of 1983, my boyfriend, who later became my husband, shared some distressing news with me. His mother had just been hospitalized at the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) in Bethesda, MD. “When are you going down to visit … Read More
So many people, including ourselves, often expect our grief to be finished by the one-year anniversary of the death. People expect us to move on and their words shame us for still being impacted. Often, we, ourselves, shame ourselves for not getting “over it” quicker and we beat ourselves up. The path of grief, though, is not confined to just … Read More
Mother’s Day is a beautiful day filled with appreciation, love, and adoration. We get to celebrate and spoil the women that brought us into this world and receive the same from our own offspring. It is a day of homemade cards, breakfast in bed, and gifts that say we value the most important relationship a human can have: a relationship with … Read More
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. While I’m on a mission to help prevent suicide, I’m also on a mission to change how we talk about suicide. Want to know what you can do to help your friends, family, and colleagues who have lost a loved one to suicide? Stop saying he or she “committed suicide” and replace it with … Read More
After a loved one’s suicide, survivors often feel an incredible amount of guilt for not preventing the suicide. The following excerpt is from The Gift of Second: Healing from the Impact of Suicide. Guilt Guilt is the belief we did not do enough to keep our loved ones here on Earth. Oftentimes, with guilt, we get stuck in ‘if/then’ thinking. … Read More