The idea of paradox is not a radical one for most people. “Every rose has its thorns” we like to say, implicitly accepting that the good and the bad very often exist together, inextricably connected. But when we are faced with this concept in our personal lives, forced to look it in the eyes and wrestle with what it really … Read More
My son is nine years old and still so young and innocent. He struggles to spread the peanut butter on his bread, doesn’t really know how to clean up a spill, and manages to “brush” his teeth in less than seven seconds. He’s not prepared for much more than the 4th grade. It is surreal to look at him and … Read More
Two Months I’m allowed to cry every day I’m allowed to hurt in every way I’m allowed to suffer I’m allowed to regret I’m allowed to wish and never forget I’m allowed to hurt every time I breathe I’m allowed to be quiet I’m allowed to grieve I’m allowed to listen to depressing songs I’m allowed to forget and then … Read More
“I sit here in the new morning glow of 2020. A new year, a new decade, a new chance to start again (or so they say). I am once again reflecting on the year that was 2019. For all intents and purposes 2019 will go down as by far the worst year of my life, thus far. The loss of … Read More
Who would have known our lives would have led us here? If you would have told me five months ago this is where I would be, I would have never believed you. But here we are, in a club in which no one wants to belong, all sharing a loss greater than we ever could have imagined. Yes, I am … Read More
Dear Beloved Dylan; I love you still, perhaps more fiercely than ever. Though I miss you every day, I want you to know that we are OK sweetheart, really OK. The jagged, vicious pain we lived with for such a long time after you chose to leave us has softened. Life is truly different now, in ways that are surprisingly … Read More
Suicide Can Be Prevented…. I’ve seen this statement in my workplace, in commercials, in the news, in magazines and online. It seems to appear with every suicide that’s of current interest. The problem with this messaging is that it infers “we have control” over suicide. If we only pay attention out there, we can prevent the suicide of someone we … Read More
As a therapist, I am honored to walk fellow suicide-loss survivors through the tragedy of losing their loved one. The range of emotions these individuals feel is so unique and yet, the similarities are what makes a support group so powerful. I recently taught to a room of survivors at a grief conference. We did a hands-on experiential type of … Read More
If I asked you to name the signs of an individual thinking about suicide, could you name them? If someone you know was contemplating suicide, would you know how to get them help? Would you know how to save their life? I recently asked a group of friends these very questions and they all stared at me with a blank … Read More
It was December of 1989 and I was eight years old. My Christmas wish list was full of toys and books and one item I wanted more than anything else…an alarm clock. I remember specifically asking my mom for “a clock that lights up in the middle of the night.” On Christmas morning, I ran downstairs and tore through all … Read More