We sat on the front porch all night long. My youngest 2 children and my sister beside me. I still remember the thickness of the air that night. As the sun came up and I was all alone I remember the silence. It was the quietest I’ve ever heard my house but yet it was deafening. Sitting there feeling everything … Read More
I was never prepared for it to be six years post loss. With each year it has gotten easier. In fact, I rarely think of him now. Of course, there are always small things that sneak up out of nowhere. My mind and body know the anniversary of his passing is creeping up without looking at a calendar. I can … Read More
I work in the field of suicide prevention and postvention. Every day I work alongside colleagues doing everything they can to prevent future suicides and help in the healing process for those whom have lost a loved one. I help launch LOSS Teams all across the country. I am an author and a licensed therapist doing grief work for new … Read More
This beautiful poem was discovered by one of The Gift of Second’s readers and passed on as she felt so many of us could relate. To Honor You To honor you, I get up everyday and take a breath. And start another day without you in it. To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew … Read More
I was asked months ago to write a blog for this site and I tried many times but I couldn’t find the right words. That is until now. Right now it is 3am in the morning sitting in my kitchen on a snowy night. As all of us know, when you lose a love one to suicide, sleep can be … Read More
In December of 1990, my mom bought four hand-crafted Christmas ornaments at a local craft-fair. Each one had our names written on it. My mom and I had matching green stocking ornaments and my dad and brother had matching red. They were part of a set and adorable as could be. We hung them on our tree that year in … Read More
Suicide-Loss is such a unique type of grief. Our experience feels very different and isolating than other losses we may have experienced before this. September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. I created this short 3-minute cartoon video. See if you can relate to this in your own grief.
The idea of paradox is not a radical one for most people. “Every rose has its thorns” we like to say, implicitly accepting that the good and the bad very often exist together, inextricably connected. But when we are faced with this concept in our personal lives, forced to look it in the eyes and wrestle with what it really … Read More
My son is nine years old and still so young and innocent. He struggles to spread the peanut butter on his bread, doesn’t really know how to clean up a spill, and manages to “brush” his teeth in less than seven seconds. He’s not prepared for much more than the 4th grade. It is surreal to look at him and … Read More
Two Months I’m allowed to cry every day I’m allowed to hurt in every way I’m allowed to suffer I’m allowed to regret I’m allowed to wish and never forget I’m allowed to hurt every time I breathe I’m allowed to be quiet I’m allowed to grieve I’m allowed to listen to depressing songs I’m allowed to forget and then … Read More