I was asked months ago to write a blog for this site and I tried many times but I couldn’t find the right words. That is until now. Right now it is 3am in the morning sitting in my kitchen on a snowy night. As all of us know, when you lose a love one to suicide, sleep can be … Read More
In December of 1990, my mom bought four hand-crafted Christmas ornaments at a local craft-fair. Each one had our names written on it. My mom and I had matching green stocking ornaments and my dad and brother had matching red. They were part of a set and adorable as could be. We hung them on our tree that year in … Read More
Suicide-Loss is such a unique type of grief. Our experience feels very different and isolating than other losses we may have experienced before this. September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. I created this short 3-minute cartoon video. See if you can relate to this in your own grief.
The idea of paradox is not a radical one for most people. “Every rose has its thorns” we like to say, implicitly accepting that the good and the bad very often exist together, inextricably connected. But when we are faced with this concept in our personal lives, forced to look it in the eyes and wrestle with what it really … Read More
My son is nine years old and still so young and innocent. He struggles to spread the peanut butter on his bread, doesn’t really know how to clean up a spill, and manages to “brush” his teeth in less than seven seconds. He’s not prepared for much more than the 4th grade. It is surreal to look at him and … Read More
Two Months I’m allowed to cry every day I’m allowed to hurt in every way I’m allowed to suffer I’m allowed to regret I’m allowed to wish and never forget I’m allowed to hurt every time I breathe I’m allowed to be quiet I’m allowed to grieve I’m allowed to listen to depressing songs I’m allowed to forget and then … Read More
“I sit here in the new morning glow of 2020. A new year, a new decade, a new chance to start again (or so they say). I am once again reflecting on the year that was 2019. For all intents and purposes 2019 will go down as by far the worst year of my life, thus far. The loss of … Read More
Who would have known our lives would have led us here? If you would have told me five months ago this is where I would be, I would have never believed you. But here we are, in a club in which no one wants to belong, all sharing a loss greater than we ever could have imagined. Yes, I am … Read More
Dear Beloved Dylan; I love you still, perhaps more fiercely than ever. Though I miss you every day, I want you to know that we are OK sweetheart, really OK. The jagged, vicious pain we lived with for such a long time after you chose to leave us has softened. Life is truly different now, in ways that are surprisingly … Read More
Suicide Can Be Prevented…. I’ve seen this statement in my workplace, in commercials, in the news, in magazines and online. It seems to appear with every suicide that’s of current interest. The problem with this messaging is that it infers “we have control” over suicide. If we only pay attention out there, we can prevent the suicide of someone we … Read More