My sister Amanda… It’s been just over two years now. Did you know when you shot yourself that you would take the whole family with you in one way or another? Confidence in our perception of reality, hope for the future, peace in each day, and emotional and physical health, have all been stolen from your siblings. The old is … Read More
It is human nature to be curious. “Why?” is the most commonly asked question among any age group. When someone dies by suicide, people automatically want to know why. There has to be a reason. Who did what to them? Someone had to have pissed them off. Thus starts the blame game. It’s the spouse’s fault, it’s the mother’s fault, … Read More
It is imperative that we, as suicide loss survivors, are able to differentiate between guilt and responsibility. Even still, almost two years later, I feel guilty every day that my boyfriend died by suicide. I feel guilty that I didn’t recognize the telltale signs. I feel guilty that I lived with the man and I was supposed to be the … Read More
My husband, Troy, took his life on May 12th 2015. In the 800 and some odd days since, I’ve learned a lot about grieving, parenting and being kinder to myself along the way. 1) Self-care is non-negotiable. The way I look at it, I’m the only captain of this ship now. If I go down, there’s no one left. … Read More
I’m not a writer by any means. I don’t even keep a journal. In recent weeks though, I’ve found myself writing lengthy posts, texts, and emails about my experience. Experience. It makes it sound so normal and, in a way, it is. I experienced the death of someone close to me. In that, I’m not alone, I know that. People … Read More
Suicide touched my life before I was even born. My mom lost her younger brother while she was pregnant with my brother in the early 70’s. He was never talked about and I didn’t even know he existed until I was about 10 years old. I guess that’s just how things were done back then, push it way down and … Read More
I’ve been taught some very harsh lessons in the last two years. I am definitely not the same person I was when it all started. First and foremost, life is short. It can change in an instant, yet, we all worry about silly insignificant things. Love can’t save everyone because if it could I know my boyfriend would still be here. Jesus, … Read More
I lost my mum to suicide September 23rd, 2013. In reflection, I was already very depressed and having suicidal thoughts myself. Trying to juggle a manager’s position, 3 kids, a home and trying to look after my mum was breaking me. My mum’s suicide nearly tipped me over the edge. I was so angry that I could have ripped the … Read More
I was saddened to hear about the recent suicide of Chester Bennington, lead singer of the rock band Linkin Park. He left behind a wife and six children who are, no doubt, reeling in the devastating loss of their husband and daddy. He had so many fans and people that loved him and his music. He had fame and riches. … Read More
I was honored recently to be interviewed for the Mom Struggling Well podcast. During the interview, we discussed my mom’s suicide, what it was like to grow up without my mom, the unique grief a suicide brings, how suicide impacts my parenting today, and how this website, The Gift of Second, came to be created. The interview is fun and … Read More