Loud as a Feather by Mike Hines

posted in: Uncategorized | 15

We sat on the front porch all night long. My youngest 2 children and my sister beside me. I still remember the thickness of the air that night. As the sun came up and I was all alone I remember the silence. It was the quietest I’ve ever heard my house but yet it was deafening. Sitting there feeling everything & nothing was the most surreal feeling I’ve ever felt.

It’ll be 5 years next month and the silence is one aspect of my wife Misha’s suicide that I’ve never even gotten close to being comfortable with. Some days it’s quiet like a church mouse and other days the absolute nothing in the air takes the wind out of my lungs.

Tell your family & friends you love them often. Hug them tightly whenever possible. Life is entirely too short and once it’s gone, it can never be replaced. And that friend of yours that’s struggling, never stop reaching out. Your caring word might be the difference if they see the sunrise the next day!


Mental Health Matters!

15 Responses

  1. Alison Gomez
    | Reply

    ❤ Beautifully written. 100% Life is too short and can never be replaced.

    • Mike Hines
      | Reply

      Thank you so much !

      • Robbie West
        | Reply

        Your words, Mike, speak to the complicated and indescribable heart break of losing a loved one to suicide. I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago and can so relate. Prayers of comfort to you and your family. 💞

    • Vicki Nimmo
      | Reply

      I know your pain. My husband died of suicide 6 years ago. I’m so sorry this happened to us.

  2. Erin
    | Reply

    No words Mike. 💔

  3. Lucy Dyer
    | Reply

    That is beautifully written you can just picture and feel the sadness. You should continue writing that was definitely from the heart and pain. Hugs to you..

  4. Kim
    | Reply

    I am always here for you ❤❤❤❤

  5. Lisa
    | Reply

    Thank you for sharing, Mike.

  6. Kathy
    | Reply

    I know this feeling all too well…it’s been 7 years since I lost my son Josh to suicide.
    The silence is deafening at times.
    Well said Mike, prayers to all who loved your beautiful Misha.

  7. Tyler Thayer
    | Reply

    Your words are so relatable, so from the heart. I have never heard it put better than what you said “…the absolute nothing in the air takes the wind out of my lungs.” Its a void in our lives that makes it so hard to continue on and do the most basic thing we have to do to stay alive, of continuing breathing. Many times I have wished I couldn’t or wouldn’t breathe another breath, but I continue on one breath at a time. Its the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I hope you too can go on too, one breath at a time, one step at a time, one tear at a time.

  8. Mike Hines
    | Reply

    Thank You everyone!

  9. Karen
    | Reply

    We will never fully understand why and that hurts so much.
    This is beautifully written. Thank you for this. I lost someone extremely close two years ago and the pain never goes away. May God walk beside you during your journey of grief.

  10. Debbie
    | Reply

    Well said. Thank you so much for sharing!

  11. Dianna Matzo
    | Reply

    My phone became quiet, as my sister had lived 800 miles away and we spoke every day… either by voice or text. Thank you for sharing this.

  12. Suzanne
    | Reply

    I’m new here ironically my son died the day you wrote this. It was the worst day of my life, because my beautiful son, my only son left me and his sisters. We are so heartbroken, we can’t think of anything else. God bless all here we need it

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